Wednesday 28 January 2009

What if...?

I can't cope with people I love being in hospital. I suppose that's understandable, especially for someone who's spent a lot of time visiting in the past.

This week was worse than anything I could remember. The distress verged almost on physical pain, tearing through all other thoughts like some relentless torment. You find your mind wandering, getting lost in the fearful daydreams, then waking to find that you can't shake free of the horror.

What if..? What if...?

My soul is a tiny, helpless figure, running around and screaming, deep inside me. Outwardly, everything becomes numb, quiet, but the screams still echo within.

And yet, I know it's worth it. The pain is proportionate to the strength of your emotional tie, and I wouldn't dilute it, no matter what.

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